finer arts..

one generally ends up being in total awe of people who are effortlessly able to do things that person cant.. try as he/she might...
me..I jus fall short of placing the no-sayers and the bargainers on a pedestral and worshipping them..
a statement by anita nair in one of her books..somethin in the lines of... u realise u are an adult when u are able to say no without that twinge of guilt accompanying it..on my part i realised why people still give me that exasperated when will u grow up look for no apparent fault of mine...
wats so difficult with uttering a n-0 to a stranger ... i dunno.. feeling like a total jerk.. the feeling could be for a fleeting second or longer as the situation demands... automatically accompanies the utterance of no..
console myself sayin that for all u know it could be a mahatma like quality...
kinda hoping that this piece of convo sees the light of the day..
somebody:could u .......?
me:nope.....
or
s:will u .....?
me:nope...
..and that I emerge out of it feeling ekdum happy....
guess it s a direct cause and effect relationship that defines why I am such a loser at bargaining..
i generally presume that its my moral responsibility to pay the amount asked for..
outings .. I generally accompany person/people who is/are a goddess/goddesses at bargaining(G.A.B)...it helps...
dialogue ensuing between the whatever seller and the G.A.B..(with me as the spectator)..

w.s:150 only madam .. export quality...
G.A.B:(looking him straight in the eye..):50..
me:(sputtering soundlessly..)wat..?
w.s:90 madam.. no profit for me otherwise madam...
G.A.B:50...(and starts walkin .. I am still standin...)
w.s:allright 50.. take it....
me:omg..!wat..??

replace G.A.B with me and the bargain session invariably starts with the rub-neck-tug-earlobe warmup..a sincere effort to get the magic words out...and closing price quote of 100...
have people takin classes for unheard things nowadays and makin loads of money...any idea bout a how to bargain or a how to say no class goin on...?
after all .. they are arts too..and finer ones at that..

......

lame attempt at verse this,
more of a doggerel it is,
alas! found no better way to state the fact,
that concealing the truth about being a moron,
just needs well strung words from a lexicon.

L'esprit de l'escalier ..

translates to..:stairway wit..

yes..I know who a polyglot is..

no.. I am not one... my colloquial vocabulary is limited to english,hindi,tamil, bonjour and merci..

yes.. the title did rise as a series of sounds in my throat and died before reaching the lips..

no..I obviously didnt know what it meant till I looked up the translation..

and no..it doesnt include showcasing of sarcasm while climbing stairs..

in layman terms..jus means being dumbed down in a particular situation and thinking up of smartass retorts once it s too late..

thought I was the only one who went through this thought process..thought somethin was wired wrong in my head alone.. and went about mighty glad bout the whole thing..

lets face it..I am not a genius.. not even close to it..I wont be the seventh person to understand einstein s theory of relativity nor can I conjure up a Springfield though I would like to believe otherwise..

eccentric..?maybe.. its a relative term anyway..

barring a few exceptions of course.. basic human nature.. ?to prove the point of being totally different from others.. why else would i still get to watch constantly revamped episodes of The Guinness World Records from god knows when till now...

I am but human... talents if any still prefer to remain latent in my case however..

I took to thinking about what I think and whether the others did that too..(come to think of it .. it is difficult in its own way..)

naa that s not possible.. I am different...! pretty convinced with myself too till L'esprit de l'escalier came along and proved that there is more to French than jus the kiss and Moulin Rouge...

present line of thought...while walkin down the road or travellin whats that urge sometimes to observe or talk to a particular stranger...?do others have it too..?

and by the way..do others revel in self deprecating humor as much as I do..?

akhbaari..

ten minutes.. and I am done...with reading the paper..:-).The Hindu to be more specific.Don't look forward to get my hands on a crisp paper first thing in teh morning ..hell..nowadays it makes no difference even if it reaches me in a thoroughly crumpled up state..
"That is the headline..?? "is my first reaction on most of the days..local news is borderline crap..The only thing useful there is a tiny column on one edge giving prior notice about a power shutdown later that day.. helps keep ready a list of curses for usage at the time of need..
international news section. well..more than anythin else ...thanks to them I learnt a lot more about Shaha Riza and Paul Wolfowitz s relationship and Paris Hilton s living conditions in jail..than about Darfur..
Unless of course I went into a state of induced coma durin those specific intervals.. to the best of my knowledge ..dont think there has ever been this extensive a media coverage( wood pulp medium inclusive)..or mudslinging for that matter for a presidential election...
yeah. . go on .. devote pages and time slots for an election where the public is not even gonna vote..
grade the sections in the paper as worthy of read and the Opinions page wins hands down. its the only place where individuals get to voice their views..teh crossie page comes in a close second.. but then .. because I am able to crack an ok number of clues on a daily basis.. I am guessin its quality is going down too..:)..
its kinda irritating especially wen one has all the time in the world with nothin even vaguely constructive to do for the time being and is trying to keep away from sittin and staring at nothin and.. become a gyaani in current affairs at the same instant..:) ..
must admit though..sometimes I do feel that all the time spent drooling in front of the computer is the reason why the newspaper.. and the media in general appears so drab...but then an occassional gem like this
helps reaffirm the faith I have in my existing frame of thought..:-)